October 15, 2008-September 1, 2023
October 15, 2008-September 1, 2023
Max was a twin. He shared the womb with his sister, Samantha. He was stuck at the bottom portion of the womb. Samantha was high-maintenance at birth and nearly died. Her recovery was nothing short of a miracle. Girls and their drama.
Maxwell somehow survived the birthing trauma and life began with a 2-baby handful. Diapers, feedings, baths, repeat. Everything times two.
A few months after they were born, my wife was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. After nearly a four year battle, Max's mother, Lindy, passed away. She was 35. He was just turning four.
Max was a tender-hearted child. He was a quiet boy, but he had a fun side too. He loved to golf, play basketball, video game and go to Hop Cat and Sperry Moviehouse with his friends. Max was just learning to drive. His 15th birthday would have been on October 15, 2023.
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why
Dressing himself
Brooklyn, Samantha, Max, Levi and Isaac
Fun with Uncle Clair
Amy and I blended our families on August 2, 2013. She came into our lives at just the right time.
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Hijinks with Hudson
Good friends make everything fun!
First Zeeland West home football game. 7 PM
*Times are approximated. based on calls/text. and home security.
Overwhelming grief was the inspiration for this AI-enhanced artwork.
New information was flowing in along with more painful truths.
An acutely emotional visit to Max's crash site.
Awake and wandering, missing my son.
October 9, 2023
Dear ZPS School Board,
On Aug. 31st, our son Maxwell Ver Beek had just finished his first week as a freshman at
Zeeland West. He was so excited to attend the first home football game. We dropped him off at
the game and got a call for an early pick up. Max was saying he was sick and wanted to come
home. When his Dad, Dustin, arrived to pick him up, he was obviously intoxicated. The assistant
principal spoke with Dustin and said students were saying he was “trashed” and confirmed he
had vomited in the student section, but said he wasn’t sure because Max was still holding a
proper conversation.
On the way home, Maxwell proceeded to vomit all over himself in the car. When he got home, I
could tell he was intoxicated with either drugs or alcohol. He admitted to being drunk, but
wouldn’t tell us where he got the alcohol. We spent time with him to make sure he was okay and
then told him to try and go to sleep and we would deal with it in the morning. We made sure to
tell him how much we loved him and he had made a mistake but we could work through it. We
took his phone away so he would sleep and not continue to talk to other kids about what had
happened. We didn’t realize he had his old phone that didn’t have cellular service on it, but still
had wifi so he could access social media.
Dustin got up at 6 am to let the dog out and saw that our Jeep was gone. He quickly rushed
downstairs and also saw that Max was gone. We had several families out looking for him. When
we realized it was futile, we called the police to get help. Within a half hour there were 3 police
officers that came to our door and told us they believed it was Max who had crashed our Jeep
into a tree and caused an explosion. They originally didn’t know for sure because there was
hardly anything left of the Jeep or Max.
Within a few hours of learning Max had died, we started to get bombarded with even more
disturbing news. We were told that kids at the game had taken out their phones and had taken
pictures and videos of him vomiting on himself and others and put them on social media to
humiliate him. We suspect he was able to see all the social media posts and become mortified.
We have a screenshot from Tic Toc, from one of your children, where she states, “He felt guilty
and mad at himself looking at us stare at him and take pictures.” Another student commented
under her post saying “He threw up on a lot of people and people started taking pictures and
videos to mock him and make fun of him, it’s really sad.”
Within a few days, we were told by an Allegan Co Police officer that a student had confessed to
supplying Max the alcohol and admitted to getting the alcohol from her parents. And it wasn’t
the first time the student had done this. A girl with Max at the game told us the girl had supplied
Max with around 6 water bottles full of Tito’s Vodka (this would approximately equal 4 Fifths of
Vodka) and that he and other students were drinking it in those water bottles at the game.
We appreciated the communication from Travis Spaman and Jessica Knoth in that first week.
But a week went by and we hadn’t gotten a single email or phone call from the Superintendent.
Another week went by and still nothing. After the 3rd week, we sent an email to her saying we
were disappointed and saddened that she never reached out to us. We had several excuses
such as “I have struggled with when and how to approach your family” or “members of our high
school staff had been in close contact with you.” It took 30 days for her to make a phone call to
us.
We feel that one of the roles of a Superintendent is to absolutely reach out to families within the
first week, when this type of occurrence happens. I’ve spoken to a parent who not long ago lost
their son to suicide at ZPS. To their knowledge, their child did not experience bullying at school,
nor was he given drugs or alcohol from a student and Cal DeKuiper still reached out to them the
first week, without them asking for it. But Max was given alcohol by a student at ZPS at a ZPS
school sponsored function, and the cyber bullying occurred by ZPS students at a school
sponsored function and the Superintendent was silent.
It has been going on 6 weeks since Max died and other than providing counselors for students
who request it, there has been nothing done to address the student body about this tragedy and
how a student providing alcohol to a peer and/or the cyberbullying were contributing factors in
our son’s death. Not a single assembly, not a “homeroom” discussion, not a vigil or moment of
silence, NOTHING. A Grand Haven Public Schools parent told us that right after Max’s death,
the school had “very serious, no bullying talks with the students.” Holland Christian Schools had
a day where all their students wore white in honor of Max. If other districts can address it, why
can’t ZPS???
I am sincerely asking you to pause for one second. I’m sure all of you have kids in the district, or
have at some point. Please reach to the most empathetic parts of your soul and think about
what you would want done if this happened to your child. Wouldn’t you want the girl and parents
that supplied your child with the alcohol to get a consequence that matched the action?
Wouldn’t you also think that a five day suspension is just a slap on the wrist and no lessons will
be learned? Wouldn’t you want the students who ridiculed and mocked your child to have some
sort of consequence? Knowing these two things absolutely contributed to your child feeling so
degraded and humiliated that they took their own life?
Here is a list of things we think the board should consider:
Please consider the proposals in this letter,
Thank you,
Dustin and Amy Ver Beek
Photos and memories from birth to 14.75 years old. To add images, contact us.
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